Causes of Low Self Confidence

We are not born with low self confidence. The causes of low self confidence are many and complicated. The development of confidence begins in childhood. Parenting can adversely affect confidence or build it. Parenting is a very tricky thing - children don't come with instruction manuals and what works with one child does not work with another. If you suffer from low self confidence it will not help to blame your parents and continue to wallow in the mire of low self confidence. There are other factors involved, for instance:

Fear

Fear prevents you from taking positive action. Taking positive action is what builds confidence. Fear is a liar. 99.9% of what fear says will happen never does. Your confidence will grow or shrink in direct relationship to the way you deal with fear. Take a calculated risk and endeavour to accomplish something and the chances are you will succeed. That success will boost self confidence.

Guilt

In this world and in life in particular there are many occasions when we feel guilt. There are real guilt feelings that happen when we violate real absolute standards (stealing, assaulting, insulting, murdering, etc). There are also false guilt feelings that happen when someone 'should's' us. For instance when someone you love tells you that you should be doing something and if you don't you don't love them. This may make you feel guilty if you don't comply. This is false guilt.

If you have done something wrong the right thing to do is to make it right. Apologize and ask for forgiveness. You may or may not receive that forgiveness but if you've done everything in your power to make it right you've absolved yourself of guilt. If you've done nothing wrong but feel guilty anyway's realize that you are not perfect and that the expectations of others do not obligate you.

When you deal with real and false guilt feelings your low self confidence with become a think of the past.

Expectations

Unrealistic expectations of your own performance can lead to low self confidence. When you don't succeed at something the first time, or second time you try something and you conclude that you've failed - eventually you will conclude that you are a failure and your confidence levels will take a significant hit. You may need to get outside opinions and evaluations to determine what a realistic expectation for a give goal, or new skill, or project should be.